3cm oF SaFe SPAcE

No one took them but I need them back.

I need them, my heart feels squeezed – my brains collapsed.

A couple, not much more, just a few ...

3 cm. 3 cm that should do.

3 cm more to keep me sane.

3 cm more for the tick tock tick tock in my brain.

3 cm more so I feel I’m in my own seat – not OUR not YOURs. MINE.

3 cm more so I can breathe, slouch, chill and not always smile.

I’m happy, loved and fulfilled, don’t get me wrong.

But there’s that little safe space inside my head and heart that’s gone.

Those left-over moments in the day.

Those moments to sit, ponder, or pray.

I’m not god loving but sometimes I wish I were,

To hide in a church, to sit in silence, gaze and wonder.

Those moments are now strategically aligned to be effectively filled

With plans for me, you (the tango that goes with it), work, play, more planning. REPEAT!

Those moments are multitasked into fitting in a busy smelly tram.

Or perhaps as I choose between the salmon and ham.

Or when I put up the washing, absently listen to the news.

Or in a business meeting, deciding summer plans: hike or cruse?

My brain is wired like a big spaghetti bowl. Tug one bit, and the rest wriggles.

As I’m talking to you know – and I’m telling you this but please don’t giggle.

I’m planning my work lunch tomorrow - our weekend, worried in might rain.

And wondering when the best moment might be to visit his little nephew again.

It doesn’t stop and I don’t know how to.

3 cm more is my only and last change to.

Breath.

Smile.

Be.

More myself.